Natives Rising Thought For the Day: Proving the "Exceptions to the Rule"

"Natives Rising" writes from their [Facebook page]:

Thought for the Day- A great deal gets made about exceptions to The Rule. We say because one person made a stupid choice and came out just fine then people can make stupid choices. Of course they can. It's still a free country for at least a little while longer. Our concern is the weakening of the fear of consequences for dumb choices or even worse the outright promotion of them under an "it feels good do it" call to arms.

This, most horribly, can also take place in a well-intentioned effort to avoid hurting the feelings of sympathetic victims of bad choices. It goes too far however when we start to pretend the victim is having a hard time for some other reason than bad choices.

A great example is single parenthood which usually means single motherhood. Now, I grew up without a father. It's painful to experience that. It handicapped me horribly in ways I will go into for another topic.

Yet every time someone says its not a good idea to bring children into the world without a stable man around to play the role of daddy people can't wait to defend the women who do it. "She's doing an amazing job" we are told. How do we dare criticize?

Of course we shouldn't criticize because it's a hard enough position to be in as it is. But single mothers are now the norm when they used to be rare. It used to be understood by young girls that trying to be a single mom was a difficult and completely avoidable road to travel. Now no one is seriously trying to discourage it in the community except a few preachers on TV that are always under attack for being insensitive.

We don't say it's a bad idea because we want to hurt a young mom who is doing her best for Little Johnny. We say it's a bad idea because the real world proves Little Johnny will have a tougher life without a dad around. We say it's a bad idea because his mother will have it harder as well. Showing how some other kid grew up to be the governor or something while not also showing how tough it was for that kid and his mom is not only not helping it actually helps keep single parenthood normal when it should be rare. The exception to the rule seems to prove there should be no rule.

NDN babies need daddies. If potential daddies are still mentally and emotionally children (which unfortunately is often the case) a wise woman would leave them alone. Yes, 2 of the last 4 Presidents were raised at least for a time by single moms. It doesn't mean we should encourage it.

It is possible for Little Johnny to have a great life. The odds are Little Johnny would have a better life if his mother waited until she was doing well on her own journey and found a guy who would stick around for what every new parent knows is at least a two person job.

Just because there are exceptions to a rule does not mean there shouldn't be a rule. The rules exist for a reason.

Your friendly neighborhood Ravenspeaker

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